You may have just discovered that your partner is pregnant. Whatever she feels about it, it's important for you to know how you feel about it too.

Some men feel positive at first about a pregnancy and the possibility of fatherhood because of what it means to be a man, but then other things take over. For some the pressure of circumstances takes over –

  • Maybe you only started your studies at university
  • The relationship isn't strong enough
  • Maybe the responsibility of a child seems overwhelming right now
  • It's just not what you wanted for your life...
It's important that you look through the information given on these pages about the options open to you and your partner. You are entitled to this information so that you and your partner can make an informed choice. Ask yourself the questions given with each option so that you can make up your mind.

Some men feel left out of the decision-making process because pregnancy has to do with a woman's body and it appears to be the woman's choice. Most women are, however, deeply affected by the way their partners respond to the pregnancy.

How do you support your partner?...

You may feel relieved that you don't have to make the final decision. Many men say to their partners ' I'll support you whatever you decide...', this seems to be a loving thing to do but it places the burden on her shoulders at a time when she may be struggling to come to terms with what has happened. Most women sense what their partners really want and go along with it because they are afraid they will loose the relationship. She needs reassurance that you'll be there for her. She needs to know honestly what you think and feel.

Support you partner by...

  • Not leaving her to make the decision
  • Talking meaningfully together to find the best way forward for both of you
  • Drawing closer to her rather than pulling away
  • Considering the information on these pages with her, seriously
  • Sharing the responsibility for the situation with you partner
Maybe you have already made an abortion decision – it is OK to grieve for the baby you will never see or hold in your arms, you also have suffered a profound loss. Find someone to talk to. The worst thing you can do is to keep it inside. It helps to talk it out!

If you feel you need more information or support, please visit us at Neo Birth, either by yourself or with your partner.